Crown said: quote: Not to be nitpicky, but I am not going to \"respect\" my ladies opinions when it comes to ANY and ALL decision because there are plenty of things that she doesn\'t know JACK about. Well its important to note that MY exact statement was:
\"1. Have to respect my intelligence, experience, and opinions when it comes to making ANY and all decision that affects the family, and be willing to compromise on ANY issue that I am not willing to defer to your judgment.
Its a given that no one person cant be an expert in EVERY subject...which means that there will be some things on which the woman will be more knowledgeable, and thus better qualified to make the final decision. Likewise, the man will know more about some things and be better qualified to make the final decision.
Can you Crown, Osiris, etc. at least accept that?
quote:WHY?? As I have so \"simply\" said on numerous occasions, \"ANYTHING WITH TWO HEADS IS A FREAK\". My contention with you has always been regarding your position that when two reasonable/intelligent heads are available, the BETTER one to be the leader is AUTOMATICALLY the MALE one.
quote:You can ask her, and she will tell you that I consistently ask her for her opinion on MOST things that involve us. I\'d wanto to made aware of ALL things that involve/affects us both, PRIOR to the making of a decision....that way, I\'m shown the respect of being provided with the OPPORTUNITY for me to give my input.
quote:DP, all the things you talked about, are EXACTLY what I have CONSISTENTLY been talking about whenever I brought up the topic of SUBMISSION!!! Sorry, but I dont care if you wrap it up and put a nice pretty bow on it, I still DONT LIKE THAT DAYM WORD, along with all its religiously based biased connotations, implying some supposed intended and given inherent inferiority of females. Find some other word to use, cause I ain\'t \"SUBMITTING\" to NO body.
quote:...but she is afraid someone else will take an interest in me, and she KNOWS that she has a goldmine in her backyard. LOL...no need to be acting all shy and modest like that dude.
quote:So DP, I guess the only place we differ is on the idea of the man having the ultimate final say. Yeah, but its a VERY important point of departure.
quote:And darlin, I will tell you this much, if you are looking for a man with all those other traits, I will tell you that MOST LIKELY, he is going to be just like me, and he will WANT the ability to make the final decision. Sure they may WANT that ability, heck we all WANT a lot of stuff, but the point is, will he uncompromisingly INSIST or DEMAND to have the final say on any topic HE feels that HE should.
I know a few man who are like I described, and not all of them are uncompromising.
The way I see it, a smart/insightful man who is secure in his manhood, will recognize that, there may/will be occasions when he WANTS to have the final say, but he may need to acquiesce, in order to serve the greater good of his relationship, and he will not feel as if his willingness to acquiesce makes him any less of a man, or makes him whipped. The same logic goes for a smart/insightful woman.
Any successful relationship(meaning BOTH people are happy/satisfied) that I have ever know of that involved two CONFIDENT people, functioned as give-and-take, not consistently MALE dominated.
Side note: Btw, I think I\'ve noticed a sort of coping strategy in some successful relationship where the women in such relationships will give props to their man in public(or around company), to suggest that its HE who gets final say in most of the couple\'s major decisions, BUT in reality(behind closed doors), the man is actually very compromising, and will support his woman\'s preference for most of their decisions.
Sort of a tiger in public/teddy bear in private phenomenon for the man, and a teddy bear in public/tiger in private phenomenon for the woman.....it seems to fulfill the primary psychological need of both partners...interesting.
DP
