Purple, Gianne said it right and well. I love the fact that we are each sharing our personal knowledge and experiences on this, since this issue effects each of us at a distinctly personal and individual level. Also, my view is to find a man who will treat me with dignity and respect; if that man isn\'t \"my color\", I don\'t care as long as the feelings are mutual. I know of many examples in IRs in which either partner demeaned and disrespected the other, so-called \"inferior\" partner... but also, I know of more numerous same-race relationships in which they\'ve demeaned and disrespected their partner. This can happen, irrespective of culture, though the point you are making is that it happens \"because\" of color. I\'ve heard of men who specifically sought out immigrant women (eastern Europeans, Asian, Latinas) because they thought such women were more submissive, obedient, haven\'t learned the brash, independent \"American\" women\'s ways .... I hear them describe American women (regardless of ethnicity, just women raised and cultured here) as attempting to \"be a man.\" These types of men have problems with their own sense of masculinity and can\'t see themselves, or the women they seek, as being complete individuals outside of the public \"roles\" that we fit into. I have been in a couple of relationships in which I was the first \"Asian\" that the man had dated, or his first IR. By then, I was pretty familiar with the issues as an Asian and as an IR; to the man, it was a knew way to see himself and his cultural background in a different light; my issues became his issues as well, taken to heart.
