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Author Topic: Do women like falling for playas?  (Read 848 times)

diva_511

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Do women like falling for playas?
« on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
The problem is that many women do not know that being alone does not have to mean being lonely.  With that in mind, most women will take any peice of a man that he is willing to give.  I also don\'t think that theory is specific to one type of woman, I think its across the board.Women are also very good at putting the blame where it doesn\'t belong.  Instead of checking the man and ourselves, it is easier for us to check the other woman who may or may not know what is going on.  Furthermore, we do what others allow us to do.  Because there are so many women who accept this type of behavior, many men will take advantage of the situation.
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Isis

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« Reply #1 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
A woman KNOWS when she is dating a player because she automatically becomes insecure. I think women have a strong 6th sense, and can feel when things are not right. Like someone else said, it is also the challange of turning the man around. The bottom line is..no good sex, cooking, moral support, or pretty face is going to make a player change.I feel that a woman with healthy self esteem is not going to even put herself through that unnecessary drama.
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Roslyn

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« Reply #2 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Lyonel, Phil and I have had this discussion at length in various incarnations on the usenet.  It\'s my belief that for the most part, the women y\'all are referring to are fairly young--25 or less.  Most women who have matured have learned an important lesson, one that Isis alluded to:  TRUST YOUR INTUITION!  Women have an innate sense of when things aren\'t right, but we live in a world where women are encouraged to dismiss this natural ability in favor of \"logic.\"  Unfortunately, this leaves many of us floundering, because with logic until you see, hear and taste it for yourself,you can\'t be sure.  When you trust your instincts you know that if it doesn\'t \"feel\" right, it isn\'t right.Another factor is that with so many single-parent homes, many young women have grown up with no idea as to what a man is or how she is to be treated.  I was fortunate that my daddy always treated my mama like a goddess.  I knew then what the pattern was to be:  I should be cherished, my man should be respected.  I mean, how do we teach a child to tie his s****?  We show them until they learn.  Yet we expect young folks who have never seen an intact normal relationship to somehow JUST DO IT!  It doesn\'t work that way, we are replicants and if we don\'t have anything to replicate we\'re left floundering.
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diva_511

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« Reply #3 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Roslyn, you would be suprised how many so-called \"matured\" women beyond 25, who have the same problems with trusting intuition and taking messages given outright.  As for the single parent household thing, my father was there (as were a couple of my girlfriend\'s fathers), and I (we) **** sure wouldn\'t consider him (them) the epitome of a man (men).  Neither would I take anything from him [my father] and decide that\'s a trait I would want in a man.  It just so happens that I have taken my experiences and decided I am not going to deal with the same *****my father dished out to my mother (which happens to be many of the things others in this post have mentioned).Lyonel, all I can say is that different people come to different conclusions at different times in their lives.  As with my scenario above, I took from it something totally different than my sister, and another girl in the same position may take a different approach than the both of us.  Also, Lyonel, your definition of player may be different from the women you are or may become friends with.  Furthermore, we all know that 9 times out of 10, we can apply the \"rules\" to everyone else\'s life but when it comes to our own, we don\'t know what to do, what happened, or anything.
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Mr Sincere

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« Reply #4 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Roslyn,  Nobody is getting stupid about this issue.  Your not being attacked , unless you have a guilty conscience or your points are unsubstantiated.  If they are,   they will stand by themselves and make sense with out your help.     But.....you have to see how everything we say in one topic correlates and applies to another topic.    Of course you didnt mention sex here......I DID, so whats the problem?Women who go for players are generally having sex with these players, Roslyn.  And we know women bond thru sex,  isnt that what you said?So why not talk about the effects of oxytocin...or why women arent using this \"common sense\" here?  And tell me,   how are women being discouraged of using her intuition, in favor of logic?.....just because you said it , doesnt make it so.Perhaps you should re-read what you wrote and see the connection and stop lying about somebody attacking.    Im questioning what I see and adding input to show it doesnt add up, until you connect the dots.  
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Roslyn

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« Reply #5 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Mr. Sincere: It\'s obvious to me that you and I don\'t come here for the same reason.  You apparently come here to analyze everyone\'s post and debate every quibbling point.  As I\'ve said before, I don\'t have time for that. (If you do, God bless you.)  I come here to express my opinion, give advice, if its\' warranted, and perhaps get opinions and feedback from others.  I\'m not on the cast of \"Crossfire,\" nor do I enjoy this constant nitpicking.  Folks are free to listen to agree and/or disagree with my viewpoint.  I\'m not going to spend precious time reading long posts trying to defend what I\'ve already said.  If you disagree with me, that\'s your privilege, but I really can\'t be bothered.If you felt that oxytocin was relevant, you had every opportunity to raise the issue.  Why did I have to be involved?  I\'m not the first person to mention the hormone in this forum, just the most recent one.  If you can\'t see that we live in a society that encourages women to be less intuitive and more logical, fine, perhaps you might want to read up on it.  I\'m tired of giving references to books and articles that folks don\'t bother to read.  If I\'m not mistaken, Crown is our resident expert/advocate of the \"Mars/Venus\" books, perhaps you might want to check them out.
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Roslyn

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« Reply #6 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
You know, Mr. Sincere, I\'m amazed at the number of self-professed psychics that post on this board!  Ye Gods!  If they\'d had y\'all working for them maybe the Psychic Friends wouldn\'t have gone bankrupt! The absolute arrogance of you telling me what my motivations are is absurd, you don\'t know jack about me!  I don\'t enjoy talking with you, no I don\'t.  Didn\'t I make that clear from the very first post you made attacking me in this forum?  (Remember, I called you a jerk, and asked you then to leave me alone.) Why you insist on talking to me when I\'ve told you repeatedly that I don\'t want to talk to you is beyond my comprehension.  Dude, you\'re just plain rude, you seem to have a real problem with women, and you\'re a sexist.  Why then would I want to talk to you?  I don\'t, and I\'ve been telling you that since you got here.  You enjoy arguing and I don\'t, therefore what in the hell do we have to talk about.  Please refrain from talking to me.  Can I make it any clearer than that?
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Roslyn

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« Reply #7 on: May 10, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Mr. Sincere asked: \"Suppose any of the other posters asked the same questions or addressedthe same points , would you be runnning away from them too?\"No, I wouldn\'t have a problem fielding these questions from almost anybody else here, it\'s talking with you that I object to.  From the time you\'ve gotten here you\'ve made it clear what your agenda is.  Our agendas are totally oppositional and we will never agree.  So why on earth should I waste my time reading your posts (something I\'ve pretty much avoided since you got here) when talking with you is a waste of time.  I don\'t object to an honest discussion with anyone about any subject. Unfortunately, you seem incapable of doing so, I know what your positions are, you know what mine are, therefore why do you insist in trying to engage me in conversation?  There are dozens of other folks on this board for you to talk to, why do you have to talk to me?
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Mr Sincere

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« Reply #8 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
However you want to view it......who told you or forced you to respond?  Ask yourself that!!    Let\'s role play.  Mr Sincere is the playa.  And any woman who allows her ego buttons to get pushed gets upset just because the playa expresses his point of view.   A person who fails to use their intuition, common sense or logic feels they have to make it a personal challenge of getting the playa to \"get correct\". The playa is accused of being sexist, rude, attacking.....you name it, the playa is called it.Then when the playa.....lays the double whammy on her,  and shows that he stuck to the issues , and made valid points strictly from the issues,  the so-called victim is left high and dry,  fueled with anger and frustration,  refusing to acknowledge that they got involved with the playa on their own free will.    In fact , they blame the playa for talking to them , instead of seeing how they initiated talking directly to the playa.   I guess you can say the hormones excreted when the ego is activated is equivalent to oxytocin.   The ego makes you bond with the playa,  minimizing the ability to use logic, intuition and common sense to avoid that she had the power all the time in order to avoid him.   Now she tries to appeal to others.....to prove she was being played by the player.SEE THE CONNECTION???Using this role play and this discussion, The burden for getting abused by a playa is on your own subconscious desire to be involved, not the playa.    There are many examples of the playa victim mentality.   These brothers on this board are trying to help women,  not blame them or attack them.    You may not like the way it is said,  but this is no different than what was said earlier.   That people dont want to hear the truth from their friends.   They will accuse their friends of trying to undermine their relationship.  Thats what happened with me and Roslyn, she is unable to see the cause is to help women,  not make them feel good with their problem with players.If that is sexist,  so be it.   But Im not going to stand by and listen to anybody justify,  skim the surface of an issue , and miss important details meanwhile women around us are being consistenlty hurt and avoiding good brothers just because they cant stop bonding with players.   Im sure some women are getting something out of this,  never mind the stubborn ones who dont want the truth out.   Good women,  save yourself.
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Isis

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« Reply #9 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Im sorry, did I miss something? Like the point! Do you agree or disagree Mr. Sincere? I got the feeling that everyone agreed that some women fall for players based on..immaturityinsecuritynot trusting intuitionI think everyone is saying the same thing here but deviating from the topic.
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Roslyn

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« Reply #10 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Phil, I know you\'re not looking for matrimony, (if I thought you were at 23 I\'d be screaming at you ) The girls you\'re talking about may well be party girls, just out for a good time.  In early years, especially when I was in the service, I worked hard and played hard.  Commitment?  No way!  I have the same question for you that I have for Lyonel:  How are you letting these women know you\'re interested?  Playas tend to be more aggressive, and pursue more women.  It\'s like baseball, the guys who swing the most tend to get the most hits. Even if they strike out 5 out of 10, they\'re still going to have a better batting average than a guy who\'s only up to bat once an inning.Do you flirt?  No, not necessarily in pursuit of a woman, but just as general practice?  This gets you ready so that when you meet her you\'ll be comfortable with the mating ritual.The question is, \"Do women like falling for playas.\"  Answer, yes, when they want to play.
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Mr Sincere

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« Reply #11 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Im sorry, did I miss something? Like the point! Do you agree or disagree Mr. Sincere? I got the feeling that everyone agreed that some women fall for players based on..immaturityinsecuritynot trusting intuitionI think everyone is saying the same thing here but deviating from the topic.Isis,  I think you did miss something.  First ,  everybody isnt here trying to agree, were trying to ascertain the MANY reasons why women fall for playas.  We want to know why they are with players.    And if women know they are with players,  why are they with them and then complain about players dogging them?   And if they dont know they are dealing with a player , why dont they know?Along with the list you gave,  I added the possibility that oxytocin may play a part to why women bond with players.   I also questioned the statement that women are encouraged to dismiss innate intuition in favor of logic.   To me that statement borders on being a sexist statement.   It\'s almost like saying women arent skilled or accustomed to using logic and it\'s mainly her instincts that she uses in order to get by.  Thats what I think you missed.   Logic means using reason or sound judgement.   So if the author says women are using logic instead of intuition ,  and women are still falling for players anyway,   she is inadvertently saying that women using logic are unable to use sound judgement or reason in place of intuition in order to avoid players.   That simply is not true.   She may not have  intented to say that,  but if you follow that statement , what else could you come up with?Im on the side of women.  Im saying women have the capacity to use either or both.   It\'s only logical that if you know the characteristics of a player to leave him alone.    The truth is women are abandoning intuition, abandoning logic, and abandoning common sense , in favor of their emotions.....or getting their egos stroked by players.   And thats why I brought up oxytocin to why they may bond with the player, even after knowing he is a player.     That\'s the real deal. You have a problem with that logic?I didnt need no book to tell me that or no college credits either.   Now as far as the deviation is concerned.   I made my points in my first post.....the deviation occurred when I was addressed personally by someone else,  thats where the deviation occured. But you didnt address that,  your addressing me?   Now that that is over, let\'s get back to the issue.  And stop focusing on Mr Sincere.  Now Isis,  what about the points I raised....what input do you have in regards to it?  
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Mr Sincere

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« Reply #12 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Lyonel : Please read Mr. Sincere\'s initial posts. He quoted me verbatim (w/o cites, I might add, which is plagiarism)What is Plagiarism? :  The act of stealing ( the language,ideas and thoughts ) from another , representing them as one\'s own original work.What is citing? To quote a book or author etc,  esp as an authority.  To mention in \"support\" or \"proof.\"Seems someone needs a lesson in citing and plagiarism.   There is no need to cite the origin of some words if they dont support or prove my position.   Secondly,  if I\'m not representing someone elses ideas , thoughts or language as my own,  there is no plagiarism if I use them as an example of what I want to address.  If my position is different than what was quoted, how is that plagiarism?Enough said.
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philnation

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« Reply #13 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Roslyn: quote:Phil, I know you\'re not looking for matrimony, (if I thought youwere at 23 I\'d be screaming at you)If you know that, please don\'t imply otherwise!!  (No need to pronounce me as 23 just yet; I still have to survive the next 9 days!  But I digress...)As for pursuit: Subtlety has always been the route I\'ve taken.  I\'m not often very direct about it; usually, the surest sign is if I ask a woman if I could call her (or visit her if she lives in the same hall as I do, which happened once) sometime, and get her phone number.  Or, I might even go right ahead and ask her out beforehand.But the biggest thing is that I try to take a subtle route within reason at first.  I especially make sure I\'m flirting with and not hitting on the woman I\'m interested in.  (And yes, I flirt all the time!)
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Mr Sincere

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« Reply #14 on: May 11, 1999, 03:00:00 am »
Lyonel,  I dont disagree with what Roslyn said,  but to add to it.......Some women who have a history with players will avoid men or male friends for a relationship.  One reason is she feels she could get him if she wanted him anyway.   With that reasoning....there is no need to pursue him now , because he isnt going anywhere. So basically.....men she isnt interested in are considered no challenge for the ego.   But,  if she fails attracting the guy who is a challenge,  or Mr Player gives her some kind of problem......thats usually when her male friends come into play , to sooth her wounds.Ironically,  she might consider her male friend as a potential mate and might pursue it.  Unfortunately.....sometimes these relationships dont happen or they are short-lived because the main reason she is considering him is because she is in a moment of weakness and  Mr Niceguy ( her friend ) seems like the right thing at that time.  Have you experienced that or seen somebody go thru that?
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