OK, I\'m in a devil\'s advocate playing mood today.. , so beware. We as a society seem to be intensely burdened by the propensity of folks in relationships to be sexually unfaithful, or at least, at some point desiring sexual activity with someone other than their spouse. I need not elaborate on how terrible the fallout has been, a la jealousy, lying, divorces, depression, etc.
It has always been, and still is MY position, that sexual infidelity is unforgivable, and automatically equals termination of the relationship. But introspection is my favorite pastime, so I\'ve been thinking about why I feel so strongly about this issue. I haven\'t worked it all out as yet, but I\'m thinking that my abhorrence is not so much about him having a sexual experience with someone else, but more so not wanting to feel emotionally betrayed or emotionally rejected.
Well, if thats the case, the DP being analytical, the logical next step seem to be to find a potential solution to the potential problem. Firstly, its my belief that MEN tend to be the gender most likely to need/desire this extra sexual outlet, BUT I know there are also some women who would like to get their freak on with someone else, and do step out sometimes, but for the purpose of this convo, since I\'m a woman, I\'ll speak about dealing with a man.
So here\'s my risque proposal....a couple will make plans in advance of how it will be handled, if/when down the road, Mr Man should get the urge for some extracurricular sex,.... he\'ll gets permission for a one time or one day experience with another woman of his choosing, BUT with two conditions...(1) he doesn\'t get to be alone with her when doing the deed..it has to be in my presence. (2) if he gets his groove on with another woman, then that automatically entitles me to go out and get some of my own groove on with some guy of my choosing, at some time of my choosing, and Mr Man does NOT get to watch either.
I\'m not talking about a typical \"open\" or \'swingers\' kind of deal. I dont believe in those b/c I think if you have a constant or frequent desire to be with someone other than your spouse, than you\'ll need to just part company.
The scenario I presented would allow for a man(or woman) to get some sexual variety, but it would ONLY be for the SEX, because if his spouse is present in the room, that sorta remove most of the dynamics for him to have a deep EMOTIONAL bonding with the women with whom he is getting the extra sex. The idea is that, if the problem that a couple is having is one of a lack of emotional connection, then that is something that they should be willing to work on via enhanced communication. If however, one partner just wants some sexual variety, as in sex with a different BODY, then thats different.
OK now, as hard as it may be, lets try to remember that this is a discussion board...i.e. I\'m not interested in any psychoanalysis of ME. Talk is easy, I personally wouldn\'t currently have the conviction to practice the scenario I presented above, but I like the exploration of unconventional ideas and hearing other peoples\' views. So, I\'d like to hear everyone\'s take on this? Could you do it? Do you think its viable? Why/why not? Could it be a solution to saving some relationships that seem otherwise ok, aside from some sexual issues...especially issues where one may love their spouse, but just not have the desire to engage in some kinds of sexual acts?, etc. Holla back!
DP
