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Renee,
Gurl, speak on!..LOL.
Btw, as to why they cheat with those type of women..probably to be able to feel a state that males seem to have an innate need for...to feel superior, or be a rescuer, or b/c such women are easier to take advantage of, etc.

quote:Originally posted by rain:

Sex with one person unless you are really, really, deep, in love gets old and boring.I think people who are emotionally mature can understand the need for sexual variety. Its natural and makes life fun. Tied to one person for life is a form of bondage and slavery. B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

Rain, girl this is funny especially since your life seems so fun and exciting. AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!

DP, I think IR has a good point.  In this type of arrangement, once would not be enough and a license to have sex outside the marriage is a door that once opened, would be hard to close.
Additionally, the fear of wives having a revenge affair isn\'t enough of a motivating factor for most men not to stray.
I used to think no man would cheat on me because I was too smart. Meaning, he would not be able to lie to me and get away with it. Wrong!
I used to think no man would cheat on me because he knew that I would leave him.  Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Ultimately, a man has to be internally motivated to remain faithful.  {wants to honor his wedding vows, sees himself as a man of honor, etc.} Men who are afraid of the consequences if their adultery is discovered still have affairs.  They just go through a much more elaborate systems of lies and betrayals to keep their infidelity a secret.
I have a hard time understanding why any man would happily choose to be faithful to one woman. Not that men are incapable of remaining faithful-- I\'m not saying that. I just don\'t know any who have that did not battle seriously with the temptation to stray many, many times.
It\'s impossible for a woman to be everything to a guy sexually at all times.  Stress, family size, age, hormones, etc. all play a part in the type of lover a woman is.  Is it humanly possible to not neglect your wifely duties many times during the course of a marriage?
If a man has to have it, and values sexual affection over verbal or written assurances of your undying love and commitment to him... then to me, that is an equation for extramarital sex partners.  
Not that your man goes and cheats on you every time you aren\'t in the mood.  But at some point when the sexual relationship within the marriage is at a less than satisfactory point, the odds are that he will meet someone who strokes his ego and his **** the way wifey used to  before she had three kids and her mom got sick and she got that promotion at work and her best friend\'s husband died....and on with life.  Then will tell you that he still loves you, is crazy about the kids, wants to be together, blah, blah, blah.
I can\'t stand the idea of my man cheating on me.  I would have a problem with lies of any kind (about money or anything else). But I don\'t have a hard and fast position on it anymore.  In a lot of ways, I see it as a catch 22.  Even if you leave your husband and the life you have built together who is to say that your next man would NEVER cheat on you.  
My bottom line is respectfulness towards me.  If you cheat on me and I end up with AIDS, herpes, or some other STD...then yeah, that is a deal breaker. If you bring me 2 or 3 kids by women you screwed around with over the years...then yeah, that is a deal breaker.  If I have to worry about answering my phone at home or at work because of some floosie you are kicking it with... then yeah, I have a problem with that.
Not that finding out that my man was hittin\' and quittin\' someone else\'s azz (with no strings attached) would make me feel any better.  It just seems like the situations where the least amount of public humiliation involved would be easy to stomach.
Infidelity is a tough one.  [This message has been edited by YoungGirl (edited 11-30-2001).]

quote:Originally posted by Indigo_Rhayne:
 

I just can\'t see somebody else\'s butt being flipped, tossed and up in the air on my custom-made morning glory patterned duvet cover.... Whoooooh there Charlietta...hold up...stop the music...not on MY bed! Hotel! Its called ** -tel for a reason..LOL.

YoungGirl,
The bit about the woman also getting her own sex pass wasn\'t about having a revenge affair, more of a way to keep things even mentally, so that no one party have to feel like the oppressed victim who isn\'t allowed to have some cake too, if they want to.
I agree with you that ultimately, a man has to be internally motivated to remain faithful.  Aside from him being inhibited by a sense of honor, I think he also have to care about his woman\'s feelings so much that the thought of him purposely doing anything to hurt her, is unbearable for him...so the quenching any lust he may feel for another woman, becomes of lesser importance to him, than him feeling satisfied that it is MORE important for him not to cause pain to his mate.
I dont believe its impossible for a man to remain faithful and satisfied with one woman...in fact, I\'m not even sure it has to be something hard for them to do....so long as there is still some mental and physical attraction between a couple...if they have good communication, and allow each other to be open and honest in expressing their needs/desires , w/o feeling at risk of being rejected or punished.  
Regarding the last part of your post...I think many/most women may feel that way.  For me personally, its more important for me to know whats going on, preferably b4 it goes on.

Blu,  dont forget to come back and tell us how that swing works.  I never could figure out the swing fascination, although its seem to be a common enough fantasy prop.
And you just reminded me that I\'ve been meaning start a thread on porn, I just keep for getting.  I\'ll have to get to it soon.
Rain, haven\'t you already morphed about a half a dozen times in the few months you\'ve been posting here?
Indigo,  let me know if you come across any fire flies in your nightime nature travels...I love fire flies.
DP