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Author Topic: Letting her go slowly  (Read 340 times)

Christanje

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Letting her go slowly
« on: August 11, 2006, 10:22:00 am »
Don\'t take it too personal.  That\'s the way girls deal with things.  She\'s mad at you for breaking her heart and she is trying to make herself feel better.  I have wanted to do the exact same thing to my ex.  It doesn\'t necessarily (sp) mean that she hates you.  Wait  a few days until things have cooled down, then try to sit her down and talk to her.  It is weird for me to say this b/c it is the advice I need to take myself, but you will have saved her a lot more future heartache and someday she\'ll realize it and be greatful you ended it when you did.
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Minx

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2006, 05:23:00 am »
My girlfriend and I have been dating just over a year now, we are both 17. Now lately wwe had just ad this huge fight where she said some nasty things toward me, and ever since then I have kind of realized my feelings toward her have changed. My feelings toward her have changed just drastically and I don\'t seem physically / emotionally needy toward her anymore and I feel it would just be better if we both just split paths. I want this because I know we may fight again and end up hurting each other agagin, and I find myself attracted to other women. Now I really don\'t want to just dump her out of the blue, we just kidn of made it through a big fight, is it possible there is a way I could let her down slowly? I don\'t know, maybe try and sitance myelf slowly or something like that? Just a way to break up with her, that it won\'t be all at once, just kind of gradually. Now I know I have thought this through and I know what I want. Please any advice anyone could give me I would appreciate!
Thanks,
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Extra_Texture

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2006, 12:53:00 pm »
No, letting her go like that would only drag it all way to long and make it a long slow knife.
Just be honest.Meet her,(do it in person, say you need to talk to her) tell her whats on your mind,and that you find it better that you two should break up. Tell her your feelings, just as you exposed them here.
Believe me,its hard to do it the honest way, but it will hurt her a lot less.
If you did it as you plan to do it, it will make her wonder whats going on, why youre acting like that, and it will be weeks (or months) of agony for her.
Just one clean cut and its over.
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Minx

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2006, 02:10:00 pm »
See the something that happened before was when I tried to talk to her over the phone, I got angry at her over the phone, and said it was over. Then she seemed to give me attitude then hung up, then later she called back just crying and saying she had sacrificed soo much for me and gave up other men and her love for me, that she hated me for doing this to h and that she truly hated me. Anyways after that I felt soo bad  that we ended up getting back together, that was only a couple days ago, I just know when I finally say it is over between us she is going to freak, like I mean seriously freak, and she will be crushed beyound belief, like I\'m not talking about just she will shrugg it off, like I think she will be shot to hell and not recover for like a couple months and I just hate thinking of doing that to her.
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Kuky

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2006, 05:49:00 pm »
Shot to hell and not recover for a couple of months (2-3 months) is not a big deal, really. If it takes 3 months to fully get over someone, then that\'s a good number, given how close you say you are. If you really think that you want to break up, then do it honestly, and don\'t drag it on too long. Do it \"out of the blue,\" as you said, and tell her the exact, and honest reason for it. Don\'t worry about what she\'ll think of you afterwards, what you want for her is to get the honest truth, and then not be confused about it (cause she will be confused if you bullshit her, i guarantee you that).

Kuky
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Minx

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #5 on: July 29, 2006, 07:42:00 pm »
Please excuse me for taking up soo much of all your time to keep asking these questions! Ever since then she is seeming to trying to reattach herself too me, and I just keep telling her I want some space. Now if I did what Kuky said and just, \"dump her out of the blue.\" How could I go around doing that, should I do it in the park, at the gym? Where? What should I say, and react?
Thanks very much!
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Kuky

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #6 on: July 29, 2006, 08:36:00 pm »
Of course, I didn\'t mean \'out of the blue\' like a surpriuse party out of the blue or anything. I meant, just don\'t do this \"slow\" thing. cause then you\'re slowly lying to her. Trying to orchestrate such things leads to trouble.

Tell her, whenever she has some time to spare (make sure it\'s not before a big test or anything - it\'s summer so it should be ok), that you want to talk to her. Go somewhere private, and then do it.

Kuky
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Minx

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2006, 06:46:00 pm »
Yo guys, just to let you know I was out with her tonight, and when we stopped at my house she told me that I had been acting differently lately, and that she needed to now whether I was with her or not. Now when I was looking at her, I didn\'t know what to say, just looking at her brought back all the memories of past events where we had had so many good times and soo much fun together, and I just couldn\'t bring myself to say goodbye to her. I said I wanted to stay with her, but now that I got home, I am kind of regreting it and not knowing what to do, one second i regret it and another I want to dump her again, GOD I am soo confused!!!

My feelings keep changing and I don\'t know what to freakin do!!!!
I had the perfect opportunity to say goodbye to her, and I didn\'t take it, why?!
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Minx

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2006, 04:34:00 pm »
anybody?
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Kuky

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2006, 07:54:00 pm »
You are in doubt. You think, \"well, i might be letting go of something wonderful here.\" Ah, dilemmas dilemmas. Now is the time where you consider whether the relationship has some hope. Next time she brings it up to you, instead of just breaking up with her, try bringing up whatever is troubling you in the relationship. Then, as the conversation goes, it might end up in a breakup, and it might end up in a promise to work everything out (if that is the case, then both better adhere to it). But don\'t let it end on a confusing note. One way or the other, things must be cleared out.
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Ms. Seduction

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2006, 04:15:00 am »
Kuky gives good advice!  
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Extra_Texture

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2006, 06:15:00 am »
thats why hes the mod here
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\"Isnt it a pity?Now isnt it a shame, how we break each other\'s hearts, and cause each other pain?\"





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Minx

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2006, 07:34:00 am »
Hey Everybody, well I finally brokeup with the girl after a long and terrible talk with one another. Now at first she seemed to be ok with it the day after and said she wanted to be my friend, now after that the next day she wrote some terrible stuff in her ICQ info and shit, saying how it was all my fault, and telling me to **** off and such. Now that I talked to her she says she hates me because I didn\'t call her the day after I said I wanted to be friends. Now we were both virgins, we had talked about having sex but it never happened, actually she never once made me orgasim, anyways now she says that two of my friends went to her and her friend saying that the only reason that I was with her was to have sex. I know that my friends wouldn\'t do that to me, and I had already talked to some of them. Sometimes she calls my house and just says, \'hi I\'m coming over for a bit just to talk to you.\" Just stops by to bitch at me or something. I have no idea why she is being like this, and what to do about it.
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Kuky

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2006, 03:31:00 pm »
Some people get more bitter than others.
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sonic youth

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Letting her go slowly
« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2006, 05:08:00 am »
i think it\'s pretty normal for someone who gets dumped to do things like that.   they cant let go, i wish i had enough balls to do what you did    i\'m going to have to do what you did soon enough.  i\'ll be asking you for advice
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