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Author Topic: what can I do from here? *cries*  (Read 762 times)

Lady Dragoness

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« on: July 31, 2006, 07:29:00 pm »
I\'ve posted on here a couple of times about my boyfriend and I, and me thinking we need to break up. We\'ve worked it out each time, but I know now, I KNOW we HAVE to break up.

That *feeling* just isn\'t there anymore. I love him, and I\'m sure I always will, but only as a friend.

How the hell do I tell him this?

He hasn\'t got a clue. I\'ve dropped hints and such, hoping that he feels the same way and will take the initiative, but it doesn\'t work.

I know I have to do it.

I was ready. I was going to tonight. I had written out what I was going to say and everything...

\"Nathan, we need to talk. I’ve been thinking for a month or so about stuff. About us. I don’t think we have enough in common anymore to be a good couple. I love you and I always will, but I don’t want us to keep going out and wind up hating each other. I think maybe we oughta see other people.\"

I was just getting ready to let it all out, when he takes a deep breath and asks if he can ask me something. I say yes, and he precedes to tell me how he hasn\'t been able to sleep because he\'s been so afraid I\'m going to break up with him. I told him no, but that I\'m worried we won\'t be able to put the time we need to into the relationship once school starts (we go to different schools) and that when we do break up I hope we\'ll still be friends.

I am one stupid little brat. I missed my chance, and now I don\'t know what to do. I have to break up with him, but how? I\'m leaving tomorrow for the beach, and I\'d like to be able to do it before then, but I really need some advice.

Please, please guys. I need help. What do I do? When do I do it? What do I say? Please, please help me.

[Edited by Lady Dragoness on 07-31-2001 at 04:31 PM]
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The Saint

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2006, 10:18:00 pm »
Sorry Lady D, but I must say this is your fault. The best thing to do is to just tell him.

For get about your nice little speech. Just tell him you don\'t love him any more. Talk to him face to face. I\'d have so much respect for my gf is she just tells me she doesn\'t feel the same about me any more instead of doing what youre doing. The best thing to do is to just tell him.
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The Saint

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2006, 10:20:00 pm »
hamatoyoshi, hey I have been reading your ****ing posts and I was wondering are you related to that ****er Billi?

I would like to know ASAP asian boy...

PS Lady D just tell him. You\'re making the situation worse. Don\'t wait any longer.

 
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cygnus

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2006, 05:32:00 am »
first of all, if you are breaking up with him and only want to be friends...for the love of god...do NOT tell him you still love him becuase you don\'t this is a lie and will only hurt him more.  I hate reading stuff like this becuase it shows just how insecure and greedy women can be in breaking up.  I mean, the man works hard to build up the confidence to ask a women out and has to deal with a lot of rejection.  and some women can\'t even be honest in a break up.  Your bf deserves your honesty *at the very least*.  

You are NOT trying to spare his feelings.  You are NOT attempting to prevent his heart ache.  you are only trying to cover your own insecurities and trying to prevent your OWN hurt.  Your concern for him is a lie you are telling to yourself and him.

Listen girls, if you care at ALL about the guy you plan on breaking up with...you MUST be HONEST and FIRM and break up with SPEED.  There is no way to do this without hurting him.  Just like there is no way for us guys to deal with the pressure of asking out girls without dealing with rejection.  It is a part of life.  it seperates the women from the girls.

I\'m sorry to be so mean but you never been on the recieving end of this.  it SUCKS.  do what\'s right.

Dave
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Extra_Texture

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2006, 06:27:00 am »
Oki, my situation was almost the same as yours, except I was in in Nathan\'s part.
My ex girlfriend started having the same feelings as you,and I unconsciously or not, felt that something wasnt right, that we could be breaking up, and I guess your bf may have picked up some \"vibes\" and felt it too, so he said what he said, to try and save it. Its a desperate thing he did, cos I did the same,. I \'d tell her how much I loved her and was afraid of us two breaking up and all, every possible wrong thing that would make you feel like you do,but one has to  go through it to learn musnt he?

If you dont love him anymore then please when you break up dont say \"I still love you but im not inlove with you anymore\". As my gf was breaking up with me, she told me that and it made my mind go crazy for the following two months. Tell him that you did love him but now all you feel is friendship and that you tried to save your realtionship but you couldnt carry on anymore. Tell him that you still do care about him and wonder about him, but you cant do it as before and that as much as you tried to save what you two had,you felt that the break up is the right thing to do.If you carry on with this fase of \"pre break up\" it will make you two feel very bad. He will be trying everything he possibly can to win you back and you will be going round and round trying to find a way of not hurting him so much.
You will have to hurt him a bit, no escape from that.What you have to decide is to either  to give him a quick sharp pain and let him \"heal\" a lot faster or drag him in agony for a long time.
Honesty will get him through this a lot faster. If you say romantic things (i do still love you,I thought you were the one, im gonna miss you etc...) during the break up it will make it harder for him.

Best wishes Lady D****


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Kuky

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2006, 08:20:00 pm »
I agree with pretty much everything stated here. No need to rerererereiterate. I particularily like Dave\'s approach, so I back up that one .
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bAdLy aNiMaTeD bOy

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2006, 06:29:00 pm »
You are acting like a whore...judt give him a blow job and tell you want to be friends only....STOP playing with him psychco bitch  
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.....big C little a....

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2006, 05:58:00 pm »
Well..the thing is..wether you give him the nicest \"speech\" of all time or wether you are a straight out bitch about breaking up with him, you are still going to hurt him. And if you try to be overly nice about it while breaking up with him, you are gonna sound like there is still hope between you guys..things like claiming you still love him. And whatever you do, dont be friends with him right afterwards or else he is just gonna keep liking you, and you dont want him to like you even more. So, break up with him..tell him how you feel...and then, give him his space. He will be mad at you, especially after you had the chance to break up with him who knows how many chances and you havent..you have just been leading him on..so dump him..and FAST
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Ambee

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2006, 12:17:00 am »
Well, i think a lot of people here are missing the point... Love doesn\'t only occur in romantic relationships. I think she\'s saying she still loves him as a friend. (if i\'m wrong, i apologize, but that\'s my take on things) But other than that, i agree with everything else that\'s been said...
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hamatoyoshi

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2006, 08:51:00 pm »
quote:
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Ms. Seduction

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2006, 03:51:00 am »
quote:
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newtolove

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2006, 08:25:00 pm »
my last g/f basically said the same thing. so i know how he is gonna feel. like shit. but tell him why all i got was \"i don\'t know, i just changed my mind\" if you could i would like to know why you don\'t feel the same way about him anymore. cause the same thing happened to me and i don\'t know what was going through her mind.
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Kidder_16

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what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #12 on: August 06, 2006, 02:45:00 pm »
Awwwwwww!!! Lady D! It\'s ok! Just breathe... breathe...

Now you HAVE to tell him and do it soon! If you don\'t then you guys won\'t have ANY chance of staying friends afterwards. He\'ll apprecaite you being honest with him, because he\'s definitly feeling vibes from you. Like Dave said, don\'t tell him you still love him. There\'s no easy way, so your just going to have to be strong and just get it over with. You can do it Lady D! Good luck! *hugs*
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aakriti

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Re: what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2010, 12:02:39 pm »
That is a crime. I am telling you. Why is it that women get bored of their boyfriends so often. There is something called trust in a relationship. If you are not sure about your future, why would you commit at the first place. Why did you not think about it when you got into the relationship at first.
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kitchie

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Re: what can I do from here? *cries*
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2012, 02:54:45 am »
You should tell him about your feelings rather than pretending that you still love him.
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